If Only

kuching oh kuching

Monday, November 30, 2009 3:01 PM

kuching!!!! kuching!!! is calling me now!! my body here in Brunei but my heart is there already.. hahaha... ok! this time vacation would be abit adventure.. sal nya i'm going with my friend plus convoy 5 cars.. imagine???? meriah jua tu.. that why i decide to join.. i don't want to miss the enjoyment.. can't wait.. we will stay there just for a week.. that would be enough i think..now i'm waiting for my allowance..urrgh!! and my love will join i think.. if yes!!so ia bawa kereta lah..

my hair

2:51 PM

i colour my hair!!!! and i love it.. thank you to my sister,she treat me.hahaha.. sal apa nah? ia treatment rambut nya+straightening so i have to wait 2 hour. yes!sakit jubur menunggu.. complaint lah aku ne.. kan balik lah..apa lah..as you know me.bukan nda ikhlas m'dengan kan.tapi nya bosan.maybe sasak ia m'dengar aku mengomel saja2.so ia offer aku usai rambut but not above $100.so i choose to colour my hair.. 1st kan highlight but then urg saloon tu cakap nda lama.. if mahu colour my hair smua then bru tah highlight which cost $120.. so nda jadi aku colour lah saja.. ummm.. if duitku sendiri karit plang ku.since urg treat lantak saja lah.. $70 saja colour+treatment.the colour not to light and not to dark.. just medium.. if too light memang lari dari my skin tone.. this coming allowance im gona highlight my hair.. if nada halangan...

72 month

Thursday, November 26, 2009 9:05 AM

Yes!it 72 month i dating wf fabian.. I just love him.. Too drown in love wf him.. Urggh..this lately our relation wasn't that stable.me fight,yelling to much and my teardrop almost dry.. Call me idiot or whatever!but i'm not give up.. I need to pull down my ego.. Yup!at first i need space and plan to walk away.but then when i think it back.it worthless after so much thing we been thru' how can i just easily let them finish..without fighting for what is mine.. 10 minute to 12midnight he came to my place for apologize..plus it was our day..i tot he don't bother about it or maybe give up wf me,since i still in mad mood.. But here he's still stand next to me and waiting for miracle that i could forgive him.. And he kept on explaining me what happen.. Til i kiss him and make him stop... And now im in cloud 9..overwhelm happy..we spent our night at the lumut beach and flash back our precious memories..
He regret and promise me not to do the same mistake.and i hope he mean his words.

Til we meet again.. My pillow is callin..im sleepy right nw. I just got back at 6ish am..

I need full time rest.. Pay back all my sleepless night and restless time.especialy my brain.work to much this few week!!

what i want..

Monday, November 16, 2009 3:50 PM

im not good in expressing love to him.. i not even good in doing poetry just to show how much i want him either to pick one song and let him listen to it just to let him know how much i got hurt by him.. yes!i admit I'm not good in those stuff..

like i'm trying to write poetry for him to read and understand me,and guess what?
"POETRY FAIL" hahhahha.. but seriously i want it so much.. my own not copy and paste from other..

I mean, when you tell someone who is important to you that you love him, does I love you really sum up what you feel? Do you want to say, I love you, or do you want to say, I love you the way water loves oxygen– you are part of me; I am not myself without you? If you add a metaphor to it, doesn’t that I love you get a little closer to the kind of feeling you truly have? Maybe it’s not perfect, but at least better..

Poets try to put into words human emotions and experiences that do not fit into words. Seriously. That’s what poetry is about. Maybe it seems like a fool’s errand to try to put into language precisely the things that language can’t hold, but unless there is some other way to talk about those emotions and experiences that I somehow missed

but i wishes someday i could make one best poetry for him to read.it all about how we fall to one another.how we meet and how we go through thick and thin of our love journey together..

and if it success,he loved and understand it.therefore my feverish typing and thinking is worth it.And that feels pretty amazing.

but if still i fail to do it.i'll carry on searching in internet and copy paste...hahhah

3:34 PM

I thought I knew the color of roses
until I saw the side of your face.
And now I know that beauty resides in our hearts.

And your touch could sustain me forever.
Your little laugh and bony knees break my heart.

Maybe I can someday love you.
Maybe you could someday understand me.
Maybe you will stop breaking my heart.
Maybe you will just reach for me.

Maybe.

lonely

2:49 PM

wasn't in mood at all.. all i can think is HIM.
Damn miss him.. he been away to KK since last Saturday and will be back either today or tomorrow Tuesday.. well he want me to come along but then i refuse to, since my exam so soon.. need to study.. no!!! i don't want to be a failure.. plus2x i wan thim to have his time with his friend.. umm..baik x ah gf nya ne.. hahaha.. i trust him all the way. tapi jangan silap before ia jalan i warned him.

"if u want clubbing u may go for it,if u want drink u may drink but big NO for GIRL!"

and what?he laugh.. and said

"I'm not going there to look for the new one. having u in life is much2x enough. if i want it why would i've to wait until 6th year?"

feel a bit better after that. well it not for the first time he left me.but for this year.yes!it is for the first..

hahaha and it make me remember how i cried for him.time ia ke Dubai last year for job training and leave me for 3 month,gosh!! that damn hurt.hahaha for 2 week wh memendam air mata.. cinta th banar.for more it for the 1st time we both separate that long. yup!everyday wh berwebcam ne.. till i need to wake up in the middle of the night dah esuk nya ngantuk but it does matter.it the ONLY way to get in touch with him.. and during weekend i spent the whole night webcam, call and text. haha esuk nya mcm mata panda..i'm not sure how much i spent on my recharge.. this the longest time we separated. kan gila jua lah ulih nya..hahah.. before this he only leave me just for couple weeks or paling sekajap 3 hari..

i really hope ia balik today.. if today balik nda tah ku datang college esuk..
hahha..jk!

out with galprens

Wednesday, November 11, 2009 10:13 PM

hello!people on earth.. ok tadi me liat movie with my galpren.. ceta phobia.. umm.. ok lah ceta nya wasn't that bad..out of 10 i give 8.5 point.like it very scary in the beginning and toward the end cali lah.ok nda rugi $4.hahaha... after that we have our dinner at food court mall.and lapas makan ke arcade biasa lah karaoke. yes!release tension.. sorry i dont take any pic of us. nanti lah aku minta arh june and will post them here..after that we shop makanan dpr and finally balik..

ok! a few more week to go to exam..on 24th november 09.semoga di permudahan kan lah exam nya ane. rasa dup..dap.. jantung ku ne..

ok lah i think that all.just want to drop by saja.. night people! tomorrow balik ke kb with erzalina yakub..hahaha sorry za..

even a smile is also a charity

Tuesday, November 10, 2009 6:32 PM

ok!aku boring sangat2 ne.. fb nda dapat and youtube apa lagi!sasak to the max lah ku ne.. hahhaha..

bdw on sunday,8th noovember 09, my institute ada mengadakan charity utk mangsa bencana alam for indonesia and philipine.. and aku ada lah join tapi akhir lah datang dalam 11ish am.sal nya aku dari lumut. yup!need to go back on that Saturday sal nya ada family meeting regarding my sister function this coming January. sal apa nah?tunggu sja lah if confirm i will announce it here. yang penting happy news lah.ok back to those charity story..

actually nya me and other galprens kana a sign arh car wash but then last minute cancel. kana suruh senior kami yg buat for more it not suitable for girl..hahaha.. so pa nah kmi buat rooming around the building looking for the stuff yg kana jual.. hahaha nda rugi ne bawa June,Erza and Lina jalan charity. they spent a lot especially June.. me biasa lah i always spent my $$$ arh food. ya th badan pun makin bahagia.but who care!kami chow dari IM around 3ish pm. no!we not stop there.. apa lagi go for swimming lah with daus..kan fresh kan badan lh konon nya.yes!we smell like salted fish.bagas main bouncer!kami plng mcm kanak2 ne.kesian~

ok sampai di stadium ujan tia.kesian lah usul kami tat time sal nya baru kan mandi ujan makin labat tia + thunderstorm.c daus and june ok lah sampat terajun mandi. me and gadok ahhaha.. separuh saja wah basah.. but at least daripada c erza langsung nda basah ne wah..lina and nani paid $2 just to watch us. rasa jua kami nda mau rugi $2 apa lagi kami tunggu lah sampai ujan teduh. sambil2 tunggu ujan teduh kami liat2 urg and biasa lah mengumpat.hahaha around 4ish kan dakat kul 5 lah teduh th ujan apa lagi c june membuka rasmi terajun lah tarus. after abis mandi semua kelaparan ne.. so fikir punya fikir at last makan kami d aminah arif sengkurong tapi c daus nda join kami sal nya ia ada family dinner..by that time ujan punya lah lebat.. so paksa lah kami slow down..

sampai di aminah arif drg c june order makanan brunei biasa lah AMB----.me,lina and gadok order soto. makanan drg erza sampai dah.. xcept us.. last minute di saat2 perut ane melolong minta isi ada tia pelayan ne datang bagi tahu soto habis.. Shit! mcm kami batah2 nunggu baru th ia gtau nada. mineral water pun nada jua drg wh! kami minta lh nasi katok.haram! nasi katok pun nada ne wh.. apa lagi c june hot lah. di tanya nya "apa th ada di restaurant kamu ne?" last2 kmi kongsi lah makanan sama drg c erza.. kesian lah kami ne.. mcm2 halangan.. so after that kami antar june balik and next kami and finally drg c erza.. yes! it feel good to be home.. balik tarus mengampai lah.atu pun nda berapa nyaman jua tidur sal nya sakit wh badan..

shit system!

6:11 PM

ok saya mental sangat2 time ne...apa nah?i just don't understand kenapa th urg admin UNNISA tu block smua entertainment di internet ne? like aku nda dapat fb-ing,download video arh youtube,even my friend nda dpt buka friendster jua...yang paling sandi apa nah google kan download image pun nda dpt.fcuk off! i need to do my slide for tomorrow.but here i'm having trouble with this stupid2 system!!! banar th nda drg merasa x tinggal di hostel without entertainment nda kn drg expect us to read book all the time. like every minute..yang penting this is a real big huge shit!1

urgh!!! marah banar th ku udah ne.. OK lah im done before aku menyumpah getting worst better off. roger and out!

Monday, November 9, 2009 12:42 PM

UNCLE KRACKER - Smile lyrics

You´re better then the best
I´m lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Lets me know that it´s ok yeah it´s ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Even when you´re gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Don´t know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile
Ohh you make me smile
Ohh you make me smile

i fall in love with this song.. yes! it give me a million of untold feeling ..
love i know you read my blog.. and i dedicate this song to you..
im running out of words when every time u next to me..and my heart stop beating a little while.. my brain doesn't work properly and all i could think is you and yes it YOU! since you came to my life past 6 year ago.. and thank to god here we are celebrating our anniversary for 6 year..

you mean so much to me.like there no one could love me better than you.. hhahahaha cinta th banar.. but i mean everything i say..

still remember how we met for the first time?? it still fresh in my memory. how u propose me.. like we spent the whole night till morning messaging and sharp 6.45am i accepted your propose and you shouted on the phone and immediately called me "sayang" i missed that moment..but i never want to turn back the time because what we have now was the best give! and i never want o let it go after so much things we been through together from pain, sad, disagree, and happiness.. it all pay now!i have prove it.that our love is not a primary or secondary love that people use to say..

yup!family use to said that having bf will ruin you life and career but here we are work hard not to disappointing my family and finally my family accepted you to be apart of me. and im happy for that.. thank love u have support me all the way.. and our love has pay all the bills...

once again thank love for always being there whenever im in trouble, for support me when i almost fall, give me strength to go on and fight all the obstacle. it not i could live without u.instead i just couldn't bear be without you when the time im with you..

lina bday celebration

Tuesday, November 3, 2009 4:49 PM

happy bday to my roomate

LINA SYAZANA

may god bless u all ur wishes be granted.

corresponding to that kami satu geng plan to surprise ia.but sadly most of them unable to make it.so left me,erza,june and mar yg masih on to the plan. in additional c farid and azmi lh join meriah kan suasana.hahaha.. but we did have fun tho' lina expect da kami kan surprise kan ia.mum dah erza and mar banyak tersasuh cakap plus she is one of the surprise bday planner.moreover c ERZA!!! hahaha ia nda dapat wh pretending mcm nda pa2.. oh!bdw kami celebrate her bday arh excapade gadong. i booked room that night.since it her favourite place.. lina kami SANGGUP demi utk kawan.. hahaha.. overall ok lah. thank to excapade worker.sal help complot jua..

so thank jua yg lain..one for being in time! erza and mar for the cake. love u guys!

lina syazana the birthday ladie..

4:29 PM

ok!on saturday. UBD graduation day so we 23rd intake kena granted holiday!!congratulation to those yg graduate.hahah batah nunggu aku punya.. 2011 baru th abis. S.a.b.a.r. when time is come it will be my day. aku mahu rasa pa rasa nya graduate ne. I'm in the cloud 9..

ok. saya happy lah ter-sangat2. kana bagi panjang cuti tu..haha nda baik lagi usul ku ane.sudah cuti panjang krg mau kan skulah.tapi bila skulah krg mau kan cuti sampai di tunggu ne wh urg gtau nda class. lapas atu.huh!packing tarus zoom balik hostel eh.. ya th manusia ne.

bdw since saturday nda ku skulah so aku kena suruh antar drg my little sister skulah.. huh! stress.. adik ku nda mahu2 aku yg antar..ahahha.. baru jua kena suruh sudah th ku ngusut.ya th nada tu.. kurang point.

so after balik antar my sister skulah. me,maylisa and mummy jalan2 lah ke tutong saya belanja.. sekali segala. we plan kan bbq mlm nya..so buy stuff utk bbq mlm lah.. around 11ish am kami balik sal pksa fetch my little sister..

on sunday full-time rest! terkarang.. around 2ish paksa ke tutong arh cousin,ada function makan2 so pagi skjp then around 5ish balik.continue lagi jumpa my cinta. i miss him damn much!! rindu teramat2 lah sngt.hahaha ober jua ku ne. who care.nda mahu baca. u may GET OUT FROM MY PAGE!!!!

excapade time!!

3:55 PM

ok.last thursday me and the geng dinner di ecapade.. yes!everyone craving for sushi-ing
since semua agree so c teah biasa lah booked place, semua full except di q-lap.atu pun outside sit.so nda pa lah.. asal dpt makan..

here some of the pictures:

yes!we enjoy our time together.i really hope this relationship last forever. aku sayang semua kawan2 ku.. if ada masalah or something yg hurt kamu do tell the truth. from this tani bulih strength kan lagi relationship tani. learn from the mistake. and i don't want to walk away with my stupidity. pull down ego masing2. ummm...nda payah ku cakap panjang.cukup lah kamu tahu. i always need u all in whatever situation I'm in.. sama ada dlm keaadaan sedih or happy. love you guys!!!